It’s been a very long and trying 3 1/2 – 4 weeks. I was on the precipice of returning to work since my last concussion in November 2017. I had already gotten the clearance from my neurologist and reviewed my working status with my supervisor. I already had my work computer and had a patient scheduled for the next day.
Then it happened. I started to feel the searing pain pushing down through my brain. I tried to ignore it and push it off but it would not be denied. By the morning I was in pain and now had the extreme dizziness that comes along with it. There was no way I could see a patient. I couldn’t even walk across my own home without feeling nauseous. I sheepishly called the scheduler at work and my supervisor.
“Sorry, I can’t see that patient today. Please reschedule them with another therapist.”
I felt awful, not just physically but also that I had let my supervisor and the patient down. I thought that maybe I would be able to pick back up in another few days. I was so wrong. It was 18 days. 18 days of thinking, “this has got to be better by tomorrow.” Finally the feeling has broken and I can start to pick up again.
In the midst of this latest health trough I have neglected to (or consciously decided it was not necessary to) shave my legs. For many reasons of course. 1. it’s winter in new england, no one is going to know. 2. I have no stamina to even shower let alone do extra shower stuff. 3. I feel like crap, there’s no way my husband is getting close to me right now.
Now that it’s been awhile and I’m feeling better, I jokingly shared the visual of my new soft leg hair to my husband. He says something along the lines of, “you can be hippie, but you can’t be THAT hippie.” I laughed but then I thought, am I a hippie? What would make me a hippie? Could it be one thing or is there a certain collection of things that makes you a hippie? The Oxford English Dictionary defines hippie as “a person of unconventional appearance, typically having long hair, associated with a subculture involving a rejection of conventional values and the taking of hallucinogenic drugs.” I don’t think I definitively fit that description but lets see.
- I like the Grateful Dead. I always have. I grew up listening to them thanks to my older brothers. My first concert was not New Kids On The Block but The Jerry Garcia band. and my second and third concerts were seeing the Dead. I will always find joy, happiness, whatever I need in that moment, in one of their songs.
- I think that a mixture of local, raw honey and ceylon cinnamon will heal anything. Oh, and apple cider vinegar too.
- I wear Birkenstocks. I even choose them over flip flops unless I’m going to the beach. And yes, I wear them with wool socks in the winter. They’re just soooo comfortable!!!
- I like loose-fitting clothing. I think I drove the salesgirls nuts at Levis and Lucky Jeans because I kept asking for jeans that don’t touch your legs. Frankie Bergstein, you are my clothes hero!!!
- I stopped using “regular” deodorant and now use either crystal rock or a baking soda paste. yup.
- I tried to use tooth powder made from clay but I think I will be turning away from that one.
- we have Kombucha in our fridge.
- I like The Dirty Heads and I think that marijuana has more benefits than we know.
- I like yoga and believe that meditation has been such a game changer for me in my healing process.
Actually the name of my blog has a hippie origin. You know those tests on your Facebook feed, “what Disney princess are you?”, “what celebrity do you look like?” Well, a test came up “what is your hippie name?” and yes, you guessed it. I clicked. I answered. And this worldly genie of the internet named me Quiet Storm. Now I’m sure it named a lot of people Quiet Storm, but the reasoning really spoke to me. Their definition was:
“People may think you’re shy because you’re quiet, but you’re just waiting for the right moment to change the world. You’re incredibly smart and you will stand up for your rights or those of others when you feel compelled. People should be careful not to underestimate you.”
I loved that. I also felt that most of the outside world and even those in the outer bands of my circle would say that I’m quiet, or sweet maybe. When they first hear me drop the F bomb they look slightly confused and embarrassed. But those who know me know that I’m a storm.
So what of all this? Is it one thing? A way you carry yourself? A collection of these attributes? I’m still super Virgo and very organized. Of course I want to Make Love Not War and Give Peace A Chance. But doesn’t everyone? Well, I’m comfortable knowing there’s a little hippie in me all along. I know there’s a little hippie in you too!
Peace and Love